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. Those who notice mine smile and I risk a quick smile back."So, Fifty," — it's George speaking — "no real weight training experience?" No ... Sir."He smiles, but narrows one eye. The "Sir" was obviously expected a bit earlier in my reply."Why not?" Er, well, err, Sir, I mean it's not a thing girls do really, unless you are very sporty..." And do owners like flabby slaves?"Owners. That word again. I get an odd stab of pleasure hearing it applied to me."Well, no, I guess not. But doesn't weight training make you all bulky and not very attractive?" Fifty: that's just a myth. Yes, you can get overbuilt, but you have to work hard and very long to achieve that and it does not come by accident. On the other hand, what about her?"He shows me a photograph of a gymnast. She is beautiful in her poise and her physique. No fat. Toned body. Defined muscle. Beautiful posture. Serious eye candy for sure. I mean, if you're into women."Yes, Sir. She is very ... Beautiful." I'm glad you agree, Fifty. I. My internalizing my pain wasn't exactly doing me any good though. It was just that the infighting in my family was not something I wanted to expose anyone else to at this time. The problems at home only added to my insecurities I felt as an adolescent. I was really starting to reach a breaking point.I thought about Kate and how much I missed her. Months had gone by without her leaving my mind. She was invading my every dream at night. I thought about how understanding and compassionate she seemed, particularly after an incident in which another student in our sixth grade class had lost a parent in an accident. And she did suggest we keep in touch. I thought about it for some time. What would I say? Suppose she found someone new? Suppose she doesn't want anything to do with me and my problems? Suppose she forgot who I was? I thought about everything that could go wrong until I just made myself sicker than I was.Finally, I picked up the phone and dialed her number."Hello." A female.
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